How To Control Wedding Jitters

Planning a wedding can take a long time and stress both you and your fiance beyond belief. Some wedding plans start a year before the actual ceremony and almost everyday is concerned with details that can unravel at any time and cause even more stress on both of you.

As the day grows closer and you are involved with the final details, your wedding jitters, or cold feet, might surface and start perverting your intention to get married. Some of it is normal as either one or both of you consider the huge step and change in your life you are about to commit to.

Feeling fear is a perfectly normal feeling to have. In fact, it is perfectly normal to bounce back and forth between intense euphoria or shaky fear. While you might feel like doing a rerun of “Runaway Bride,” a better idea would be to examine what you are feeling and why you might be feeling it.

When stress gets out of control, it would be easy to move that anxiety to the wedding when it might just be a product of all the details you still have to finish before the ceremony. Take a few deep breaths and critically look at what is bugging you the most. What task or detail is refusing to leave your mind? What can’t you stop worrying or thinking about? If you can calmly examine your own anxiety, the true reasons for your anxiety might surface.

If you cannot determine a real reason for your wedding jitters, imagine life without your fiance and without all the hopes and plans the two of you have promised each other. Ask yourself if you truly want to live your life without your fiance. Your answer might just be “No.”

Another sign of misplaced stress is irritation over little habits and small annoyances that you have overlooked for months or years and now can’t stand. You might feel like screaming or dumping the whole wedding, but this new lack of tolerance is just a product of your stress about wedding plans gone astray or realising that you are running out of time to get it all done. Ask your friends to help with details and take some of the stress off your mind.

You might be worrying about becoming a “wife” with some uncertainty that is causing you to doubt your commitment to your fiance. This transition is something you’ve never experienced before and, even if you have been living together, the responsibility and deep commitment is brand new to you.

Your anxieties about your future life as a “wife” are normal. You are about to become someone you’ve never been before, a wife and potential mother. And you are about to make that transition in front of your family and all your friends. Anyone would be stressing over visions of that future, but that is not reason to call off the wedding.

If your reservations and doubts get stronger, rather than weaker, it might be time to examine your true feelings about your fiance. Are you really in love? Can you envision a life without your fiance? Did you agree to get married to make your family happy? Did you believe that this was your only or last chance at getting married?

If you decide you are getting married for any other reason than deep and passionate love, your marriage will probably not survive. Marrying someone is not a rescue mission to get you out of a less than fulfilling life. Examine your heart and then decide what you should do. You’ll know.

A few relationship problems and misunderstandings when both of you are under stress is normal. But anything more negative, like any type of abuse or deception, addictions, conflicts about future children, money or religion is a red flag waving in your face. If you marry under those dangerous conditions, you are asking for trouble and should think about calling off the wedding.

If your anxieties are getting stronger, talk to your fiance about them. Maybe both of you are sharing the same anxieties and can help each other relax. Your mother might have some good advice for you, since she’s been there.

If you can relax and make it to your wedding day, enjoy your new life and start your family with confidence.

For more wedding tips and advice, as well as a full directory of wedding suppliers in Surrey, visit Surrey Weddings